Loli & The Chones – “P.S. We Hate You” (1997)

Loli & The Chones, where have you been all my life?

Loli (Michelle Santamaria) and her Chones (Chris Santamaria and Vince Maldonado) play blistering fast rock ‘n’ roll, the kind of stuff that comes blasting out of garages on weekends from whatever amps and equipment that a group of teenage outcasts can cobble together. If you close your eyes you can imagine the scene in your mind. The water heater tank in the corner. Metal shelving with assorted tools, sports equipment and household detritus. Oil stains on the floor from that persistent leak in the 1978 Buick. And maybe an old beer sign on the wall. And the sweetest, dirtiest, fastest rock music, played with no sense of irony or self-consciousness, blaring out of the amps pegged at 11.

The vocal duties are shared, though my favorite tracks are those with Loli on the mic. “I’ve Got a Gun” is a classic, as is “Nazi Death Camp”, which compares all the rules faced by teens to being in a Nazi death camp, the classic mega-teen-exaggeration that happens when every single thing in your life seems epically important (pro tip – it’s not). That’s not to say that the Chones don’t carry their weight as well, because “I D*O*N*’T” and “Pendejo” are pure bursts of punk rock street attitude.

There are two versions of the vinyl release. The first is on black wax and consists of 14 tracks. The second is a limited edition of 500 on red vinyl with 16 tracks… amazingly all squeezed onto the A side, with the B side totally blank. I ended up with the red version, and while I was a bit concerned about so much being crammed onto one side, the overall quality of the red pressing is excellent – no problems with noise or inner groove distortion that I could hear. The tow extra tracks are “Bored Bored Bored” and “Flip Out”, neither of which appear on the track listing on the reverse. In fact the red version appears to come in the same jacket as the black, with tracks listed for Side 1 and Side 2.

Leave a Reply